Verse Text
cintām, yathā –
hari-pada-kamalāvaloka-tṛṣṇā
taralamater api yogyatām avīkṣya |
avanata-vadanasya cintayā me
hari hari niḥśvasato niśāḥ prayāti ||105||
Translation
An example of cintā (pondering) in utkaṇṭḥitam: I spend my nights expelling sighs of grief with bowed head, thinking myself unqualified for seeing the lotus feet of the Lord, though I have such longing to see them.
Purport (Jiva Goswami)
This is the solitary lamentation of some devotee. Hari, hari is an exclamation of grief. “I spend my nights in intense contemplation, thinking in resignation, that since I am so disqualified, it will have to remain as such, unfortunately.” However, he describes himself as still being thirsty for seeing the lotus feet of the Lord. Therefore, he hangs his head in hopelessness. The genitive case is used for the speaker to show his lack of respect for himself.
Purport (Nectar of Devotion)
Another devotee very anxiously expressed himself thus: “My mind is very flickering, so I cannot concentrate it upon Your lotus feet. And seeing this inefficiency in myself I become ashamed, and the whole night I am unable to sleep because I am exasperated by my great inability.”