Devanagari
सोऽहं तद्दर्शनाह्लादवियोगार्तियुत: प्रभो ।
गमिष्ये दयितं तस्य बदर्याश्रममण्डलम् ॥ २१ ॥
Verse text
so ’haṁ tad-darśanāhlāda-
viyogārti-yutaḥ prabho
gamiṣye dayitaṁ tasya
badaryāśrama-maṇḍalam
Synonyms
saḥ aham
—
thus myself
;
tat
—
His
;
darśana
—
audience
;
āhlāda
—
pleasure
;
viyoga
—
without that
;
ārti
—
yutaḥ — afflicted by distress
;
prabho
—
my dear sir
;
gamiṣye
—
shall go
;
dayitam
—
so instructed
;
tasya
—
His
;
badaryāśrama
—
Badarikāśrama, in the Himālayas
;
maṇḍalam
—
association .
Translation
My dear Vidura, now I am mad for want of the pleasure of seeing Him, and just to mitigate this I am now proceeding to Badarikāśrama in the Himālayas for association, as I have been instructed by Him.
Translation (Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura)
O Vidura! Joyous because of seeing Kṛṣṇa, and pained by separation from him, I will now go to Badarikāśrama, his dear place.
How will you live in pain of separation? At every moment I experience joy from having met him, and sorrow because of separation from him. Going to Badarikāśrama was the order of the Lord.
Purport
A pure devotee of the Lord of the standard of Uddhava constantly associates with the Lord in the double perception of simultaneous separation and meeting. The pure devotee is not for a moment unengaged in the transcendental service of the Lord. Execution of the Lord’s service is the main occupation of the pure devotee. Uddhava’s separation from the Lord was unbearable, and therefore he started to Badarikāśrama in obedience to the Lord’s order because the order of the Lord and the Lord Himself are identical. As long as one is engaged in the execution of the order of the Lord, there is no factual separation from Him.