Gopal Champu

Chapter Ten - Uddhava Goes to Vraja

[1] The next day Madhukaṇṭha began speaking during the morning recitation, bestowing great happiness to Nanda while Kṛṣṇa personally listened.

[2] After many days Kṛṣṇa came from Avantī to Mathurā and was worshiped with full majesty. He began to think. “Oh! I went far away secretly. For a long time Nanda and others have heard no news but now they will hear that I went far away. They have been seeing my sphūrti for allaying their feelings of separation, but it does not give full satisfaction. Directly seeing me will dissipate their lamentation. How can this happen?” He then thought about this with Balarāma in a solitary place.

[3] When he spoke like this, Balarāma said, “You are particularly fearful of breaking the orders of Vasudeva and others in Mathurā. They are not willing to grant this leave nor are they straightforward. We should ask my mother who is born of a great family. She knows the situation in Mathurā and Vraja.”

[4] Discussing together, they then went to Rohiṇī in a solitary place and asked her with tearful eyes, “O mother! Has anyone come from Vraja?”

[5] She said, “Some person came from Vraja. But not seeing you, they left with sorrow.”

[6] They said, “Do they know that we went to Avantī?”

[7] She said, “It is not really known. But among your friends, they speculated on not seeing you for a long time. They wondered if you were here or not.”

[8] The two boys said, “What do you infer from this, since you are most wise? If we secretly go to Vraja and come back, Vasudeva and Devakī will not notice.”

[9] She said, “I have thought of this and they also have thought about this. I do not see a pleasing conclusion. Their attendants are also opposed to this.”

[10] Talking in this manner and seeing the suffering faces of Yaśodā and others in meditation, all three began weeping. Then they decided that they must quickly engage a knowledgeable, astute person to send a message to Vraja.

[11] After meeting and deciding this, Kṛṣṇa, enemy of the demons, began thinking, “I must send to Vraja someone who is most wise and is respected by the people of Mathurā and Vraja, but he should not hide anything from me. The messenger who understands my sweetness and majesty will be able to pacify Vraja. If he only understands my sweetness, he will be burdened by the anguish of their intense grief. If he only understands my majesty, he will consider their absorption in my sweetness to be improper behavior. If he has mere knowledge of sweetness and majesty it will be of little use. There will be no fault-finding or censure if he realizes that I am in all cases dependent on prema.”

[12] Thinking who would be the best person for this task in Mathurā, he suddenly remembered:

Aah! Like forgetting a cintāmaṇi jewel worn on the neck when desiring some rare object, I have been dull minded because Uddhava is the suitable person who will cause me bliss.

Uddhava who realized something of my childhood pastimes while worshiping me during his childhood and who developed sickness by hiding his prema for me during his kaiśora age is here with me! ||1||

I constantly desire the association of Uddhava—who studied under Brḥaspati the authorized scriptures on conduct starting from Bhāgavatam in order to disseminate the rules on how to serve me, who experiences the whirling nature of prema for me, and who is most suitable to be my minister. ||2||

Oh! Whenever I hear his name, he appears before my vision like a well-known person. Now I am seeing him. He is different from the Yadus and different from Balarāma. I inquire from him on all topics at all times. ||3||

My soul is present externally as Uddhava. My mind and his mind operate in the same way and not otherwise. ||4||

[13] He must be sent to deliver the message to the people of Vraja who are endowed with all types of prema and who take me alone as their goal, and who possess rati with no restrictions.”

[14] After thinking in this way, though it was difficult to find a solitary place because of the continual movements of friends related to many topics, he found a private place and met Uddhava, who produces joy. He brought him to an attractive house and sat him down while his heart flowed like water. Sitting him down and becoming intimate, he took Uddhava’s hand in his.

While both their hands trembled, he took Uddhava’s tear-soaked hand in his tear-soaked hand. ||5||

He spoke:

na tathā me priyatam ātma-yonir na śaṅkaraḥ |

na ca saṅkarṣaṇo na śrīr naivātmā ca yathā bhavān ||

My dear Uddhava, neither Lord Brahmā, Lord Śiva, Lord Saṅkarṣaṇa, the goddess of fortune nor indeed my own self are as dear to me as you are. SB 11.14.15

You are clearly outstanding among the Yadus and among the people of Vraja. Because I have left Vraja, I know you to be my well-wisher. ||6||

Whenever with a hard heart I hear news of Vraja, you manifest with a melted heart and a melted body. ||7||

[15] Seeing you privately at this time, I will describe my sorrow, impossible to uproot, which is like a lance in my heart.

You know that my heart is bound by bhakti, even if it takes the form of enmity. Pūtanā is the evidence of this in the world. Disguising herself as a devoted mother, she acted like a mother. How would my mind not be attracted to Vraja permeated with the prema of my mother? ||8||

What to speak of caring for us like her very life, she tied me up to teach me not to waste wealth. Remembering this, my heart bursts open because no one else can do this to me, either to a small or great degree. ||9||

“This child should not be so fickle-minded with an independent streak from his younger years.” Though she tied me up once, I am tied up eternally by that act. Ah! Apart from that, my father freed me from that bondage with tears in his eyes. I am eternally bound by that as well. ||10||

Seeing me, they felt happiness, and hearing me they felt happiness. What else can be said? When I ate, they were satisfied. I do not know how my parents survive without me, since I am their very life. The hope I gave them that I would return has become meaningless. ||11||

Aside from my mother and father, I am the only shelter of my friends, relatives, servants, cows and forest animals. This may not be appreciated by everyone, but even Brahmā has told me that their houses, wealth, friends, dear ones, souls, sons, life airs and intentions are only dedicated to me. ||12||

I think that my father and others born in Gokula, who are the abodes of prema, are the original forms and the people of Mathurā are their reflections. My experience is the proof of this. When I experience the people of Vraja I do not think of the Mathurā residents, but when I experience the people of Mathurā I remember the residents of Vraja. ||13||

Though this is so, for practical considerations I cannot go now. You must go as my representative. Going there and considering what I have taught you privately, you should give happiness to everyone there and return to give happiness to me. ||14||

Though all the people of Vraja desire me at all times, there is a particular point–they have some difference in feelings. Some of them with great longing for me think I am only a sphūrti when I am personally present and others think that I am personally present on seeing my sphūrti. ||15||

Do not reveal my conversation to those who have faith in my words–who take my sphūrti as my personal appearance and who are happy in their heart. You should reveal my feelings to my sincere parents among those filled with intense longing. You should pacify some who are filled with crooked prema by delivering my words. ||16||

Among the hundreds of people, some who are of that mentality and knowledge should be consoled with your fully satisfying words. A donor nourishes householder brāhmaṇas and he attains nourishment by doing so. ||17||

Previously I sent many messengers, but they did not speak the real message. They spoke from their intelligence alone. How can I order you? You are the disciple of Bṛhaspati. Examining things carefully, I am sending you there as my representative. ||18||

[16] Hearing this private conversation perfectly, Uddhava, increasing in natural attraction and overjoyed by attainment of qualification, spoke in a choked voice:

“Though musical instruments are sometimes seen without musical notes and rāgas, in association with you who are the best of singers, the instruments, taking support of rāga, will satisfy the great souls.” ||19||

[17] Touching Uddhava’s folded hands, giving him visible mercy and giving him joy, Kṛṣṇa took him to Balarāma and explained that Uddhava would go to Vraja. Taking Uddhava and Balarāma to Rohiṇī, he obtained her consent. Showing mercy by making him beautiful with ornaments and cloth, he sent Uddhava to Vraja.

[18] When everyone gathered, they said to Uddhava, “Everyone understands that you are going for all the people of Vraja.”

[19] Kṛṣṇa then said, “To serve guru we two brothers went far away. If that rumor should reach Vraja, say that the two boys are not really far away. Keeping in mind your goal while hiding the truth, console my mother and father.”

[20] Looking at Kṛṣṇa with longing, with all his senses stunned, Uddhava departed.

The majesty of Kṛṣṇa related to Mathurā and the abundant sweetness of prema related to Vraja attracted Uddhava but the latter was definitely victorious. ||20||

People used to say previously that the inhabitants of Vraja had intense rati for Kṛṣṇa but now he heard it directly from Kṛṣṇa’s mouth. Uddhava’s hairs stood on end in anticipation of seeing that rati, being pulled by strong torrent of diffusing rasa. ||21||

Did a chariot take him to Vraja or the chariot of the mind (desire)? In the contest, desire defeated the chariot. ||22||

Uddhava went from Kṛṣṇa to Vraja. However it is said that every tree on the way gave Uddhava direct vision of Kṛṣṇa. ||23||

“There, Kṛṣṇa ate fruit. Over there, he sat.” Seeing this Vṛndāvana, Uddhava was most joyful. ||24||

All the trees were sprinkled constantly with the fragrance of Kṛṣṇa’s touch and the sight of his form. The trees, marked with clear impressions of his presence, yielded their fruits and flowers as previously. What more can be said? The birds, experiencing a sphūrti of Kṛṣṇa, revealed to Uddhava a manifestation of Kṛṣṇa’s present pastimes. ||25||

When Uddhava reached the edge of Vraja, Kṛṣṇa revealed a sphūrti to the cows and made Uddhava understand the cows’ great bliss on that occasion. ||26||

[21] Śukadeva describes this in verses like the following:

Gokula resounded on all sides with the sounds of bulls in rut, fighting with one another for fertile cows, and with the mooing of cows, burdened by their udders. SB 10.46.9

[22] Having entered, he then came to the center of Vraja and saw clearly how it gave bliss.

[23] The tumultuous shouts of the cowherds were like the roar of the ocean and the cowherds themselves were like an ocean.

The whiteness of the cows in Vraja spread out like the moon and Vraja itself shone like the moon.

As the sky appears bright by the spreading of the sun’s rays, Vraja was bright like the sky with the rays of the sun.

As the moon, sun, guests, the cow and brāhmaṇas are worshipped in every house by the rules of karma-kāṇḍa, taking support of Kṛṣṇa, so in all the houses of Vraja all things were worshipped for the sake of Kṛṣṇa.

As Lava and Kuśa attracted everyone’s heart by their songs filled with karuṇā and other rasas in the Rāmāyaṇa, in Vraja the auspicious cowherd men skillfully attracted everyone with songs filled with karuṇā-rasa about Kṛṣṇa.

As Bhāgavatam describes the song of the gopīs, the gopīs’ singing spread throughout Vraja.

As Kṛṣṇa plays beautiful notes on the flute, Vraja was filled with the pleasing notes of the flute.

Like brāhmaṇas chanting the Vedas at Kṛṣṇa’s birth, the sound of milking the cows in Vraja produced happiness.

Uddhava thought of Vraja in this manner.

His chariot covered in cow dust, he entered Vraja unnoticed by others. The sun, wanting to set an example himself, at that time set behind the western mountain. ||27||

[24] Going along the road, Uddhava arrived at the door of Nanda’s house and, bringing the chariot there, got off. He sat on the dais in front of Nanda’s house with his servant, the chariot driver.

[25] Some of the people busily coming and going noticed him and wondered.

“If he is Kṛṣṇa why do we not feel the happiness we feel on seeing Kṛṣṇa? He seems to have an indifferent attitude, though his form is similar. But it is not Kṛṣṇa’s form. He shines in his fine clothing. We will tell Nanda and Yaśodā about this.” ||28||

[26] Hearing their words, Nanda understood that he was Uddhava. Going outside, Nanda met him. When Uddhava offered his respects at Nanda’s feet, Nanda raised him up. Embracing him, with tears in his eyes he sat him down and taking him by his folded hands, brought him to Yaśodā. He introduced him to her, “This is Uddhava.”

[27] Uddhava offered his respects at her feet and then politely stood with folded hands.

[28] The two of them had servants worship Uddhava properly. Though he was younger, they respected him because they knew that this guest was the abode of Nārāyaṇa. He was the object of Kṛṣṇa’s affection and was another form of his body. Because he had assumed the nature of Kṛṣṇa in these two ways Nanda and Yaśodā did not see him as different from Kṛṣṇa.

[29] When Uddhava had relaxed, Nanda’s feelings became more intense. He began to question him. But Yaśodā merely listened, soaking the house in tears.

[30] Nanda asked, “My dear most-fortunate one, does the son of Śūra fare well, now that he is free and has rejoined his children and other relatives?” SB 10.46.16

One should taste the great nectar coming from Śukadeva’s mouth. I will present this in detail.

Desiring to know details, in asking about Kṛṣṇa, Nanda, being afraid of Kṛṣṇa’s sorrow, previously never asked Kṛṣṇa directly but had asked Kṛṣṇa’s many friends surrounding him. ||29||

Being pleased, Nanda, because of the help rendered by Madhukaṇṭha, gave blessing to Madhukaṇṭha before the questions were described, addressing him as a greatly fortunate soul. ||30||

My father Parjanya, understanding Vasudeva to be the son of his brother, protected him along with me as a child. Vasudeva is not different from me. He is my close friend. ||31||

Is my friend Vasudeva along with his sons now doing well in Mathurā? His well being makes me happy. ||32||

Among all friends, I ask about the welfare of Vasudeva for his happiness. I ask about his livelihood or its absence from friends and others, since there are now many enemies. ||33||

I have heard that very young Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma went to the gurukula. Going there, they appeared splendid in front of the assembly. ||34||

That boy, the color of a rain cloud, who entered my heart, stayed there a long time. Then he took birth. Does he remember his father now? ||35||

O Vṛṣṇi warrior! Does Kṛṣṇa who was born in the eighth month and who is not standing before you remember Yaśodā, who feared danger for him? ||36||

Does he have individual friendship in his heart for his mother, father, relatives and others? ||37||

Does he maintain love in his heart for those friends now deprived of his company, from whom he could not be separated because of his boyish nature? ||38||

Does he remember as previously those boys whom he would substitute for himself in herding the cows and who would come a long distance to eat with him? ||39||

Does he graphically remember the objects of Vraja which were all fully dedicated to him and to which he was fully dedicated? ||40||

We know that he took each cow to be greater than his very self. Does he remember those cows that he fed with food from his own hands? ||41||

Does he sometimes, somewhere, remember Vṛndāvana, which, on seeing, made him forget to eat? ||42||

Ah! Does he remember Govardhana which he used as an umbrella and became imprinted with his foot prints which are useless in his absence? ||43||

Ah! What to speak of never giving up all these people, will he again meet them? If he came only once to see them, I would be able to see his face with its sweet eyes. ||44||

If he protected us from the whirlwind, from the forest fire, from the harsh rain meant to destroy us, why does this best of sons not protect us now, knowing that we are burning in the forest fire of separation? ||45||

His laugh, his speech, his playful glance, and his gestures, which were all sources of happiness previously, make us into immobile objects with limp bodies, since they now playfully pierce all our vital organs. ||46||

If, on seeing the sorrow of household life, we give up our houses, we will fall into great calamity for everything--the forests, mountains, rivers and neighboring areas--all marked with his feet, make us remember him. ||47||

Ah! I have great attraction to my son. Do not think that I have material attachment.

These two boys are not ordinary. Garga has said that the devatās worship them in meditation. ||48||

[31] Both you and we understand Kṛṣṇa’s great power.

Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma killed Kaṁsa, strong as ten thousand elephants, killed the best of elephant and killed the hordes of wrestlers as mere play in front of you. They broke Śiva’s bow as if it were a flower stem. Then again, they killed many demons and lifted a mountain. What else should I say? ||49||

[32] Having said this he spoke again, “Even though Kṛṣṇa shows prowess to indicate he is the Lord, I take him as a tender child and have pure affection for him. What can I do?” With tears in his eyes and throat, Nanda was unable to speak any longer as his breathing became choked. ||50||

When Nanda described Kṛṣṇa’s qualities to Uddhava, Yaśodā became emotional. She perspired, milk flowed from her breasts and tears flowed from her eyes. Uddhava on seeing her thought, “She will become a river.” ||51||

[33] Understanding this, Uddhava began to think, “Ah! It is my great fortune to witness these two devotees inundated in such deep affection for Kṛṣṇa. But this must be considered: it is most difficult for them to spend their time without him. It is impossible for my master to come here and it is impossible for them to go there. Though it is impossible to destroy or weaken that natural affection, if it can be interrupted somewhat, it is possible for the two of them to survive, but not otherwise. This restriction on their affection can happen if they gain knowledge that he is the Supreme Lord or knowledge of his greatness caused by glorifying his prema. Now is a good opportunity to inform them since Nanda has just mentioned that it is possible that Kṛṣṇa is the Lord.”

[34] Uddhava then spoke aloud:

Kṛṣṇa is also called Nārāyaṇa. He is svayam bhagavān. In him resides pure prema, which is superior to the other goals of life. And concerning prema, vātsalya reigns supreme. Because you two are the most perfect examples in the three worlds of that vātsalya prema, if any fortunate people attain your association they attain the deepest rati for Kṛṣṇa. ||52||

Know that matter, the jīva and Brahman—these three are portions of portions of the Supreme Lords, Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma. ||53||

[35] Absorbed in Kṛṣṇa’s sweetness, Nanda and Yaśodā did not listen to his words. In order to appease their grief, he then informed them of Kṛṣṇa’s coming there in the future. He then spoke with the intention of making them aware of Kṛṣṇa’s majesty mixed with sweetness that he would keep as the main topic.

O Nanda! Since the master of all the devotees, the Supreme Lord, has become your son because of your pure vātsalya-bhāva he will quickly come to you. Coming here, he will fulfill your desire completely, at all times. Your caring for him as your son will be famous in the Purāṇas and Vedas. ||54||

Having killed Kaṁsa, the enemy of all us Yadus, in the arena, Kṛṣṇa said he would come to you. When I inquired from him, he said this was true in a loud voice. ||55||

[36] Because Nanda and Yaśodā were still grief stricken he spoke with intense agony:

You two are most fortunate. Do not grieve. You will soon see that Kṛṣṇa resides here at all times. What to speak of being close, he is everywhere. The word kṛsṇa-vartma means fire, because fire pervades like Kṛṣṇa. ||56||

He has given the reason why you cannot see his form here now. He must fool the demons into thinking he is not here. ||57||

[37] Thinking that the two would be further aggrieved in thinking of Kṛṣṇa being everywhere like an ordinary object, Uddhava tried to pacify them by speaking in another way:

No one is dear to him and no one is his enemy. He does not see anything as his possession or belonging to anyone else. Thus no one can be the father or mother of the Lord. Though this is so, he accepts these sentiments from his devotees in order to mitigate the pain arising from their prema. Thus how can he give you up when you are suffering like this? ||58||

[38] Kṛṣṇa is not inclined to act in this way for anyone except his devotees. All others are in illusion about this. Saying this, he then expanded on his previous words:

The Lord does not destroy the jīva’s guṇas though the guṇas are in proximity to him. The jīvas opposed to him end up in illusion about the Lord by the influence of māyā. ||59||

[39] Because the Lord favors his devotees and not the demons, he has become your son because he is controlled by your prema. In absence of this prema, other people cannot be happy with just ordinary material love. ||60||

As Uddhava and Nanda conversed, dawn appeared. But Uddhava had given up his agile intelligence because of the impetuous prema of Nanda. ||61||

[40] At that time, some gopīs, attractively dressed because of the happiness from Kṛṣṇa’s constant sphūrti, got up quickly, lit the lamps and, cleaning the ground with cow dung, began churning yogurt. ||62||

The gopīs’ song about Kṛṣṇa mixed with the sound of churning spread all around the earth and reached the heavens. Hearing the song, Uddhava considered it would be most auspicious if Kṛṣṇa were near. ||63||

[41] Seeing that brāhma-muhūrta had arrived, bhakti personified, the king of devotees named Uddhava, gave up his seat with a desire to perform morning worship of the Lord. Taking permission from Nanda and Yaśodā, he went to the water. He then informed them as follows:

I desired to console you. Your affection is far beyond me. But that affection will accomplish all that you desire. In consoling you, my audacity has caused you great disturbance. ||64||

You, the protectors of Vraja, should not worry any longer, for your young boy is the boat for crossing the ocean of material existence for the whole world. ||65||

Informing them, he went to the river, but seeing his chariot on the road, people wondered about the owner.

[42] Seeing Uddhava’s chariot, the women feared Akrūra had come. Those whose tongues are burned by caustic lime will think that yogurt is also lime. ||66||

[43] In bliss Madhukaṇṭha spoke a concluding verse.

“O Nanda! Previous events have been described in a remarkable manner. Your son is sitting in your lap. Ah! Seeing your moon like face withered, he moistens his cheeks with tears continually.” ||67||

[44] When the speakers satisfied everyone, the people satisfied the two reciters. The reciters returned to their lodging and all others went their way.

Kṛṣṇa himself praised Uddhava saying, “No one is dearer to me.” This Uddhava he sent to Vraja as his messenger. ||68||

Chapter Eleven - Mistaking the Bee for a Messenger

[1] As previously, recitation (in the evening) took place in the assembly of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa.

[2] Understanding the extent of the topic, and dividing it up into two sessions, Snigdhakaṇṭha spoke.

[3] Uddhava went to the tīrtha where the gopīs would gather to pass time and worship their deity. But Uddhava quickly took his morning bath at a place separated by some distance from them. Completing his rites carefully with devotion he left, not too far from them.

[4] While leaving, he saw them. The gopīs’ hair was untied, their clothing soiled and their effulgence dull, as if glowing coals had been covered by smoke and ash. But their eyes were restless to see Kṛṣṇa. Because of their heavy breathing their lips had cracked and their faces had dried up. They appeared like deer frightened by a forest fire. ||1||

Looking at Uddhava for a long time, the gopīs were astonished. He had the same complexion as Kṛṣṇa. His arms were long, cylindrical and firm. He had lotus eyes in a moon-like face and was at the age of new youth. What more can be said? He was the combination of all types of beauty. Makara earrings swung in his ears and his cloth surpassed gold. Seeing him, they mistook him for Kṛṣṇa. They remained motionless like pictures for a long time. ||2||

Though the gopīs noticed that Uddhava resembled Kṛṣṇa, they did not mistake him for Kṛṣṇa out of illusion, since they had spiritual eyes. ||3||

Sometimes the gopīs saw Kṛṣṇa in lifeless objects like a tree because of some similarity, but they did not see Kṛṣṇa in other men since their nature was to uphold dharma. ||4||

[5] Astonished, they gathered, like bees whose life is the lotus, around Uddhava, who was like life- giving water for the lotus, who was pure internally and externally from living close to Kṛṣṇa.

[6] Surrounding him, they concluded he must be a respected servant of Kṛṣṇa. Humbly respecting him, worshiping him with fine words and a seat, they remained silent for some time. Smiling unnaturally, overcome by their pain, they spoke:

We know you to be an associate of the lord of the Yadus because of your fragrance. We know him also. What can we say, being most miserable? Because he has given you an order, you have given up the wealth of Mathurā and come to the village. We understand clearly who you are. ||5||

If you say you have been sent by your master, do not say clearly, “I have come just to console you.” The cause of your coming is his father and mother. If there are both secondary and primary causes, the primary cause is your main purpose. ||6||

Peaceful one! Even sages cannot give up affection for friends. How then has he given up his father and mother? Ah! The pot (the effect) cannot give up the earth (material cause) or the potter’s wheel (instrumental cause). He uses them as long as they serve his interest. We ask you, knower of proper conduct. ||7||

If he does not give regard to his father and mother, will he look at anything in Vraja? In Mathurā, there are wealth, elephants, horses, chariots, men and devatās. Here the best wealth is the rope for binding the cows. ||8||

In this world the relationship between the enjoyer and the enjoyed is not clear. The relationship between the flower and bee is not fixed. The relationship of man and woman for momentary happiness when they come together with mutual dependence is also temporary. ||9||

Enough of the perpetual relationship of man and woman! Marriage is characterized by dharma and material happiness as the steady elements. Therefore marriage is desired by common people. Illicit lovers desire the happiness of married life but finally they give each other up. The prostitute gives up a destitute lover and a wealthy old man gives up the prostitute. ||10||

[7] From the beginning the functions of the gopīs’ minds, words, and bodies knew only Govinda. They were dedicated to him alone and did not know external good or bad. Ah! Ah! In separation they became disturbed by pain. This was observed even by outsiders. Though Uddhava arrived in Vraja to pacify everyone in general, the gopīs surpassed all normal limits in their upheaval of pain. What more can be said? They revealed Kṛṣṇa’s confidential message carried by Uddhava in their attractive songs. My heart thus burns. What more can be said of their incomprehensible state of madness in separation?

[8] After silence, with heads bowed, the reciter spoke again, “Ah! In fear of a scorpion I have entered a snake’s mouth nearby. Though I have given up the madness of separation, without an alternative I have been bound up by the state of madness of Rādhā. I have been made to describe her words of lamentation.”

[9] Pained for a moment and then happy, Uddhava spoke, “Oh! Waking up, I can somehow destroy the sorrow produced during my dream because Rādhā, who experiences a direct meeting with her lover (and thus gains joy), is my support.”

I will expand on this. A profound condition of Rādhā’s mind filled with manifestations of Kṛṣṇa appears now and then.

[10] Her condition:

“My lover comes to me and secretly goes to Mathurā. Therefore he enjoys with some women there.” ||11||

[11] That mental condition became much stronger on seeing Uddhava. That state of anger overcame mental propriety. Under the control of impressions arising from seeing the messenger, she thought that a bee was another messenger.

[12] She conjectured:

“Coming from Mathurā the bee is humming and shaking its head. It must be his messenger. He comes for some purpose.” ||12||

[13] She thought, “I will first scold the bee.” She then spoke, “Ah! Ugh! Why do you come from Mathurā and act so brashly in front of me? Go away to the forest!”

[14] Looking at the bee with a cruel glance she said in derision, “Rascal! Ah! This is not unbefitting to you, since you drink liquor. That is why you are called the liquor drinker.[1]”

[15] With a laugh she said, “Ah! You now enjoy drinking because your master, the lord of drunkards, is the master of Mathurā,”

[16] Thinking again she then spoke roughly, “Your relationship as master and servant is not inappropriate because he is the master of drunkards and you are a drunkard. This is well established. You two are famous as the maintainer and the maintained.” ||13||

[17] Finding some other fault, Rādhā frowned and said, “O friends! Hear this! The bee appears to be sincere in heart by giving up its confusion. But it also appears to be a cheater because it hums and shakes its head. This is astonishing, but maybe not so astonishing.” She addressed the bee, “O friend of the cheater! Why do you come here so freely, as if with a pure heart? Go away! I am not a friend of cheaters. You cannot cheat me. Do not put on pretenses. One must infer that the friend of a cheater has double the cheating propensity. Cheating all cheaters, he takes the help of another cheater.” ||14||

[18] Considering this, she laughed softly and then saw that the bee was trying to land on her foot, thinking it was a lotus. She said, “Ah! You are the cheater’s friend! Do not touch even one of my feet.”

[19] Considering again, she spoke when the bee was going away:

Ah! What are you saying? What are you saying?

[20] Are you saying, ‘O mistress! I have come from my master and touching your feet is most desirable.’ Let that be, crooked fellow! That would be allowed if my mind had not been dried up by previously finding fault with you. Let that be, since it is not the topic. Now I see another very obvious bad quality in you. Your whiskers are tinged with kuṁkuma of his crushed garland which was colored by the kuṁkuma from the breasts of other women who compete for his association.

A certain person carries on his chest the kuṁkuma used by women. Another person with whiskers seems to have scorched hairs. ||15||

[21] She said, “Ah! Because his relationships are based on city ways, they end in vulgar conduct!” Laughing she again spoke, “Therefore, proud bee, do not touch me at all. Or if you touch me, do not do so with your whiskers.”

[22-24] Moving her chin, which was red with anger, she said, “What are you saying? ‘O mistress! You are filled with the highest prema. My master has sent me to appease your anger. Because of hunger, on the way I drank some flower honey difficult to reject. My whiskers got colored by the pollen.’ That is true, for lies, one by one, take on the appearance of a hundred truths. Therefore who will take the word of liars as truth?” ||16||

[25] She said:

Let that be. We have no use in arguing with you, waving our hands or talking with you, O servant of the rascal! We have no use for his pleasing words or for his sending you. Let the lord of the drunkards accept women of Mathurā whose anger is appeased, since both take shelter of the word madhu (liquor). You can be his servant there since you also have that word madhu in your name.

All become happy in associating with people of similar quality. It is seen that drunks, wine makers and cheaters make each other happy. ||17||

[26] Laughing loudly, she began scolding the bee with hatred:

His satisfaction with you will be the laughing stock in the Yadu assembly because of his inattention. You have shamelessly accepted to be his messenger and have accepted marks hard to conceal. By nature not a wanderer, you wander around everywhere.

The musk rat may want to hide himself from others but it will be revealed by the constant scent emanating from its body. ||18||

[27-28] With anger she revealed another fault:

Ah! Bee! You are speaking again. ‘Why do you speculate that my innocent master and I have faults? Ah! We see no possibility of fault.’

Then please hear the faults. The king of cheaters came to us with apparent attraction for us. We thought he would not leave us. Ah! He suddenly gave us up. What can be more condemned than this? I surmise that he has no fear of giving pain to others because he has a body which destroys all others. You then met the rascal, who has a similar nature to you, and studied scriptures from him by which you learned not to give respect to the wise. It is seen that the student has greater knowledge than the master, for desiring your own benefit you drink the flower nectar and then go elsewhere. But he does not have such self-interest. One sees that he takes happiness simply in giving suffering to others. This serpent of time wrongly gave up obedient woman like us after once letting us enjoy his nectar lips which cause confusion.

Some, like the bee, crush others for their own benefit. Some give pain to others, but not for their own benefit, like the drunkard. ||19||

[29] This is most astonishing! From this, we can see another glorious fact. The deity of all women, Lakṣmī, producing good qualities, serves your lotus feet, for it is heard and experienced that wherever Kṛṣṇa goes, Lakṣmī also goes.

[30] Thinking of this and again thinking Rādhā said, “Lakṣmī is straightforward. She does not know the deception of deceivers. She desires only him. This is most unfortunate. Let the insentient lotus worship the indifferent, cruel sun, but how can wise Lakṣmī worship indifferent, cruel Kṛṣṇa?” 20||

[31] In this way Rādhā, stating her misfortune, began crying. What more can be said of her state of madness?

[32-33] Seeing the bee humming attractively because of its nature, she spoke in another way, “O friends! This bee is showing arrogance. Look, look! It cannot be trusted. It is starting to sing. It is thinking, ‘I will soften her by singing.’ Therefore I will quickly chastise it.”

She spoke aloud, “Four-legged animals are foolish. You have six legs. You must be more foolish. If not, why are you singing in Vraja which is full of misery? You did not hear this. He who understands the hearts of others in the assembly and acts accordingly is quickly designated as a devatā. He who does not, though a human, is designated as an animal.” ||21||

[34-35] She said, “Even if you sing here, why do you sing so much? He who sings excessively not understanding the feelings of the listeners is like a dog which barks and is beaten thoroughly. Even if you sing, why do you sing about the Yadu king? A person establishes a relationship with an object so that he gets pleasure. Anyway, he who understands the heart of his sender sings loudly even if devoid of consciousness. A stringed instrument is the example. It produces special, attractive rāgas though it is unconscious.” ||22-23||

[36] In anger she again spoke, “Ah! If you say that he established the relationship long ago in Vraja, then you are a fool because you are singing of a worn-out relationship. The poets praise present relationships of praiseworthy people. The bards never praise previously existing sons of a king.” ||24||

[37] She continued to speak, “If you are singing for making money, then, with thirst for money, go and sing in front of the householders of Mathurā. Even they will do something to prevent the disturbance. O bee! From the sinful day that he left for Mathurā, we have conspicuously given up our houses and have lost all desires. But you sing in front of us, who have no money. Ah! What are you saying? Are you saying you also have no desires? Then why do you sing about Kṛṣṇa who should be condemned? If you say you are singing a traditional song, then sing a Purāṇa. What can I say? With six legs you are beast and a half. So then you don’t have any thirst for money? With no money and no good qualities, you are doubly condemned, for the person who does not know places which yield or withhold money is not intelligent. Such a person has that bad quality which gives him the urge to beg from another person.” ||25||

[38-39] Again she spoke, “Therefore listen, fool! Listen to good instruction. You should sing to his friends about the victory of your friend who is victorious in romance. The Yadus will not be embarrassed by this. Cupid will increase in the breasts of these women whose pain has been dissipated by him. Hear the truth enunciated by Vātsyāyana. Giving up shyness, I will speak. Big-breasted women become more blissful to the degree that the lover shows boldness. Hearing about those acts of pleasure is as enjoyable as the pleasure derived from direct experience of amorous acts. This is the conclusion of Vātsyāyana.” ||26-27||

[40] Laughing, she said, “In shaking your head are you deliberating on this? Except by begging from someone, what can my friends give you? Listen. I will instruct you. A person who wants something from another person asks that person for it. The asker may worry about the hesitation of the donor, but that increases his eagerness for the object.” ||28 ||

[41-42] Thinking for a moment, Rādhā then ignored the bee and spoke to her friends, “Oh! Friends of my life! Understand it is a flower insect. How can it understand the essence of dharma that you experience? The bee says ‘O goddess! Do not use harsh words against me. How will these women dedicated to their husbands serve another man? You should be silent.’”

[43] She said, “You should say this to the bee. ‘Yes they are dedicated to their husbands. But no woman in heaven, on earth or in the lower worlds can control him. Mothers of seven children cannot give him up.’ But do not say this like an enemy. ‘Why do you criticize him, who has the best qualities?’ He desires power to control everyone. Not having other qualities, he depends on māyā alone to make this happen. The cat renunciate controls others but not the genuine renunciate. The only goal of the cat renunciate is to control others. The genuine renunciate does not desire this.” ||29||

[44] She continued, “People define good qualities of Kṛṣṇa’s body in terms of the illusion created by his smile, brows, and other features. But in his mind there is only the power of illusion. But we say this out of compassion, not hatred. You should instruct all these women about him, for a person pierced by a thorn prevents others from being pierced. A person who is not troubled by others’ pain will not do so. Such a person is a thorn.” ||30||

[45-46] Teaching the bee through her friends, Rādhā then worried that the bee would speak. Therefore she spoke boldly, “O bee! Why do you find fault with us since you are buzzing? Are you, with fine intelligence, attracted to Kṛṣṇa? The bee says, ‘Lakṣmī goes without shyness wherever there is his foot dust. How is it possible for us to give up attachment to him?’”

[47] Deliberating she said, “O bee with impure intelligence! You do not understand. He first controls Lakṣmī in this way. He who desires to control everybody, if clever, first controls the main person. Everyone follows that main person (Lakṣmī).” ||31||

[48] She said, “Why should we hide? Though there is no gain, we have become greedy because of the deceit of the stealer of our minds. By that bewilderment, we still have the best intelligence, not deceitful intelligence. But you then ask, ‘If you have such intelligence, why do you have faith in him now?’

[49] She continued, “Listen to this. This is true. Since he takes away the suffering of the penniless and fulfils all their desires and is thus called Uttamaśloka, most praised, his name will deliver us from the pain of separation. To create that faith, māyā works on our intelligence. Just as Jaimini’s students enjoy the results of sacrifice, if one chants the devatās’ names without faith one still achieves results.” ||32||

[50] When the bee followed her feet because of thinking they were attractive lotuses emanating the most excellent perfume, she thought the bee was begging forgiveness. Rādhā began shouting and ordering the bee, “Ah! Evil bee! Why are trying to touch my feet with your head, while uttering clever words? Quickly go away. We know the method of causing dissension taught by your guru. It is full of skillful humility and deceit. Are you a renounced person, without such skill? If a cheater once cheats a person who has no deceit, that person will think everything is false, like seeing a drama. But still, how can we reestablish a relationship with a person who accepted us, making us give up everything because of his deception, and then rejected us?” ||33-34||

[51] Giving up that mood, she then spoke again with transformations arising from deep affection, unappreciated by the ignorant. “Ah! We should not care for a person who does not have ability to understand. Look, look! His evil heart is completely black. What to speak of the injury that bees and cuckoos inflict on creepers meant for offering! Rāma was considered the highest example of dharma but it is said that he performed cruel acts on the innocent king of the monkeys and the daughter of Viśrava who worshiped him. Ah! What? You say, ‘Hatred of a brother because of a woman caused this. Sūrpaṇakhā was a loose woman. Thus killing them is justified.’ Shame on you! Rāma was controlled by a woman and killed a deer for her. That is well known. How have we, not bound up, become bound up by words? Do not be proud. We will now illustrate this statement with examples. A person who talks to hide his faults reveals all his faults by his excessive words.” ||35||

[52] She continued, “Though I do not criticize others, out of pain I criticize the killer of the golden deer. Though you have no relationship with Rāma you argue on his behalf. This means that your Kṛṣṇa is also controlled by women. That is how your defense ends. That is clear. Do not be deceitful. This means he has been conquered by the women of Mathurā after rejecting us. You have full faith in him. You are the witness to that. There is no need to argue. Please investigate the subject of our talk. Rāma was born in a kṣatriya family and thus cruelty is not inappropriate. But look! Vāmana, who was born from Kaśyapa, who was a brāhmaṇa and a strict brahmacarī from birth—what did he do to Bali? Destroying Bali illustrates that Kṛṣṇa is like a crow, spoiling the sacrificial offering (balibhuk). In fulfilling his desires, he causes many new problems. You are neutral to all. Thus talking with you causes us grief. What are you saying unclearly? ‘Why do the sages describe Kṛṣṇa with excellent words?’ In describing his character in this way, the sages show their own faults. Though they have faults, Kṛṣṇa’s powerful, bewildering energy makes the sages attracted to Kṛṣṇa and instills fear in them. One does not become as fearful of a violent animal as one becomes fearful on seeing a person who pretends to support dharma. What can a tiger do, from whom one flees in fear? One should instead fear the person who has a violent heart but thinks he has fine character.” ||36-37||

[53] Rādhā paused, reflected and spoke, “Oh! Those who praise his character are influenced by māyā. Let that be. But by the influence of its māyā such glorification quickly uproots the essence of dharma, the wealth of married life*.* It makes them embrace forbidden conduct and reject household life with family members possessing kadamba trees. It makes them poverty stricken and finally they end up begging like birds.”

[54] She said, “Do not start arguing with this. How did the great souls listen to such talks? Giving up envy, listen. First, as if faultless, the talks smear the ear, like a tongue, with their nectar. Later they agitate the intelligence like a drink made of poisonous dhustūra powder mixed with sugar. I think they are not birds but human householders. Bewildered by his songs, beaten by relatives, they have become beggars.” ||38||

[55] Pricking up her ears, she again spoke, “Oh! You speak like this. O bee, thirsty for Kṛṣṇa! What you imagine is not true. But you worship him internally and externally. Listen to this. For us truth is not just imagination. It is based on perception in the present and what has actually occurred in the past. First we took his words to be most remarkable, just as you do. But later we realized those words were like the attractive song of the hunter catching a deer. What do we do when we are now faced with insurmountable grief and shame? Listen. Attracted to him, joyful when he wore his forest dress, we were eager to meet him. But realizing the touch of his sharp nails (also called hand-thorns) to be arrows we experienced only pain. O bee! I swear that contact with his limbs does not appear in my mind. I infer from the inner pain that the touch of his nails is actually poisonous.” ||39||

[56] She said, “When he practices deceit and his minister Uddhava becomes silent, by showing yourself, you appear to be Uddhava’s subordinate representative. By your buffoon methods, you are a learned buffoon! Show mercy to me and talk about someone else. Whatever knowledge you teach, learned from him, is not new. Any knowledge other than knowledge of him does not give us fear.” ||40||

[57-58] Having said this, Snigdhakaṇṭha continued:

Intoxicated with the state of divyonmāda due to intense feelings of separation, Kṛṣṇa’s sphūrti appeared. She then showed crooked anger. When the bee according to its nature wandered into another tree, she showed the mood of a lover separated after quarrel (kalahāntarita). She then spoke:

“Oh! I have been harsh, having used abusive language to Kṛṣṇa’s messenger. Because the bee does not understand what I said, it has left. He sent the bee because he has no other lovers and wants to protect us, but I have criticized the bee. I have thrown fire on the lotus of my heart.” ||41-42||

[59] Then Rādhā cried. Seeing that, all her sakhīs cried. But then looking at the path that the bee took, she saw the bee or another bee like it suddenly coming near. She began to speak with distorted speech mixed with excessive shivering caused by confusion. She wanted to say, “O dear friends the bee has returned” (SB 10.47.20) but instead she stuttered “Pi pi pi pi priya-sakha pu pu pu pu punar āgāḥ.”

[60] “Though you went there, you have returned. Therefore you are our dear friend.”

[61] The meaning is this:

A person who plays with you is a friend and one who experiences your suffering and happiness is called dear. And one who lives with you during the suffering is called a dear friend. ||43||

[62] With special anurāga in her heart, she thought of her good fortune. She asked mentally, “Has my beloved sent him?” When she came to utter the word “beloved,” she fainted on uttering the first syllable. Uddhava lost his self-control and the sakhīs lost their power of intelligence. In that state of fainting with increasing bewilderment, she spoke as if in a dream, while thinking, “Oh! Oh! How can I repay the bee? Please choose. What do you want?” However, out of her confused state, she used the first person ending instead of the second person ending (anurundhe instead of anuruntse).

[63] The meaning is this:

Having dear friendship is a person’s real wealth. It belongs to no one else. But that wealth is not suitable to give to Kṛṣṇa’s messenger, the bee. I will ask the bee what it wants. ||44||

[64] Attached to the bee, she then worried, “The bee thinks ‘This woman is a fool, not a relisher of rasa. Therefore she thinks that I, eternally Kṛṣṇa’s unconditional friend, to be partial to him.’ Therefore I will say ‘I should honor you, friend.’” (SB 10.47.20)

[65] This is the meaning:

Though a person is not an unconditional friend to another person, he should always try to satisfy that person, for he never considers that person different from himself. ||45||

[66] She then had a sphūrti of the bee who said, “If you think that friends are non-different, then give me this as a gift: without worry, carefully get on the chariot.”

[67] Then she spoke in misery, “But why have you come back here to take us to him, whose conjugal love is so difficult to give up?” (SB 10.47.20)

[68] This is the meaning:

O bee! By your nature you give happiness to all people. Since you are my friend, why do you take me to his co-wives? You and Kṛṣṇa do not know my sorrow. Therefore do not try to take me, suffering in separation. ||46-47||

[69] She again thought, “Perhaps he is saying, ‘Now he has started studying the Vedas. How can he associate with women?’”

[70] “To this I say this, ‘After all, gentle bee, his consort is the goddess Śrī, and she is always with him, staying upon his chest.’” (SB 10.47.20)

[71] This is the meaning:

The golden line on the left side of his chest is known as Lakṣmī. In the bloom of youth, she meets him in a solitary place. The nature of unchaste women is to go here and there independently. Take me to Mathurā—but not to stay with those women. ||48-49||

[72] As external objects manifest according to desire, when she opened her eyes and looked around she saw the bee which had left for some time. Not seeing it, she then experienced constant separation.

[73] She thought, “Previously I did not ask what I should have asked the bee.” In anger she said, “It is indeed regrettable that Kṛṣṇa now resides in Mathurā.” (SB 10.47.21)

[74] The meaning is this:

King of the bees! I speak the truth. You are my benefactor, the friend among all friends. I hide no secrets from you. If one considers what is right, he should be my husband. Natural attraction for each other is the standard. O what misfortune! My lover has gone to Mathurā and has not returned for a long time, being controlled by the women there and covered over. Thinking he may not even be there, my heart in doubt has burned to ashes. ||50-51||

[75] Understanding from the bee that Kṛṣṇa was happily living in Mathurā, she again asked specifically, “Does he remember his father’s household affairs and his friends, the cowherd boys?” (SB 10.47.21)

[76] The meaning is this:

If in his mind he comes daily to Vraja, if he remembers his father, mother, his many friends and even us, his sphūrti should directly appear to his parents and friends at all times. Sprinkled with that pure nectar, we will die. ||52||

[77] Since the bee seemed to agree, she gave up reservation and asked, “Does he ever talk about us, his maidservants?” (SB 10.47.21)

[78] The meaning is this:

In a private place, seeing his form dressed nicely in clothing made by us, sometimes the bee says to him, “Do you not remember those servants, the gopīs? Though you are far away, you should meet with them.” ||53||

[79] She then began to lament, “When will he lay on our heads his aguru-scented hand?” (SB 10.47.21) Then she experienced his trunk-like arms to be pillars of pride. Possessed by the fire of separation, she fainted as she uttered the word “arm.” She meant the future tense (dhāsyati) but spoke in the past tense (adhāsyāt) out of confusion.

[80] Her fainting:

When one could not concluded that it was Rādhā because of change of voice, thinness, disfigured limbs and discoloration, one had doubt whether she was present in a body or not, since saliva fell over her body, her actions stopped completely, and her breathing could not be detected. ||54||

[81] The meaning is this:

Desiring to engage his hand, more fragrant than the best aguru scent, in serving me, when will he touch it to my head, making my heart blossom in joy? ||55||

[82] After describing this, Snigdhakaṇṭha spoke about his own sadness to Kṛṣṇa while Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa listened.

O Kṛṣṇa! Beautiful Rādhā has faded in separation from you. Her soft heart has become cruel. She has given up her shyness. The sweet smile has faded from her face. When most dear Rādhā falls into this condition of separation from you, my heart on thinking of this develops extreme pain. ||56||

O Kṛṣṇa most attractive among all things! There is the pain of separation by which one becomes completely void. There are certainly dissension and the obstacles caused by quarrel with you. My my mind, thinking of the miserable condition of Rādhā’s mind in the prakaṭa pastimes, becomes bewildered. ||57||

[83] When the assembly became filled with the highest joy in the presence of glowing Rādhā, tightly embraced by Kṛṣṇa, who had intense desire, for a moment there was a break in the study of the pastimes, like the first lunar day (when study does not take place), since the hearts of Snigdhakaṇṭha and Madhukaṇṭha, filled with inner bliss, had been longing to go to their residences for a long time.

[1] Madhupa means a bee or a drinker.

Chapter Twelve - Bliss Revealed by Uddhava

[1] Then Madhukaṇṭha spoke.

[2] Rādhā remained unconscious for one muhūrta (48 minutes) and all the sakhīs cared for her. They lamented, “O friend Rādhā, with such love for Kṛṣṇa! O Rādhā, who always gives us happiness! We see you are in a deathly state with dark eyes!” Kṛṣṇa’s best servant Uddhava, a facsimile of Kṛṣṇa, appearing like his sphūrti, also lamented and brought her to consciousness by bringing close to her a fresh piece of Kṛṣṇa’s cloth holding his bodily fragrance. He placed her in the center, with great determination, and convinced her that she would meet Kṛṣṇa. With the sakhīs sitting all around, he consoled them for a long time. As previously, first he spoke sweet words glorifying Kṛṣṇa’s and their greatness in order to relieve them of emotions difficult for anyone to bear.

“You who have offered your hearts completely to Kṛṣṇa from whom artha, dharma, kāma and mokṣa can be obtained are most successful. He is not far from you*. Prema* in the guise of separation is showing your exceeding greatness.”||1||

[3] Having praised them, Uddhava then spoke with lamentation:

The intelligent person will first hear news from the messenger and then rejoice or lament.

The fool without hearing from the messenger imagines the situation and rejoices or suffers. ||2||

[4] When your dear Kṛṣṇa wanted to send me to Vraja he spoke to me privately:

gacchoddhava vrajaṁ saumya pitror nau prītim āvaha |

gopīnāṁ mad-viyogādhiṁ mat-sandeśair vimocaya ||

tā man-manaskā mat-prāṇā mad-arthe tyakta-daihikāḥ |

mām eva dayitaṁ preṣṭham ātmānaṁ manasā gatāḥ ||

ye tyakta-loka-dharmāś ca mad-arthe tān bibharmy aham |

mayi tāḥ preyasāṁ preṣṭhe dūra-sthe gokula-striyaḥ ||

smarantyo ’ṅga vimuhyanti virahautkaṇṭhya-vihvalāḥ |

dhārayanty ati-kṛcchreṇa prāyaḥ prāṇān kathañcana |

pratyāgamana-sandeśair ballavyo me mad-ātmikāḥ ||

“O Uddhava who makes me blissful, please listen! Dear gentle Uddhava, go to Vraja and give pleasure to our parents. And also relieve the gopīs, suffering in separation from me, by giving them my message. The minds of those gopīs are always absorbed in me, and their very lives are ever devoted to me. For my sake they have abandoned everything related to their bodies, renouncing ordinary happiness in this life, as well as religious duties necessary for such happiness in the next life. I alone am their dear most beloved and indeed, their very self. Therefore I take it upon myself to sustain them in all circumstances. My dear Uddhava, for those women of Gokula I am the most cherished object of love. Thus when they remember me, who am so far away, they are overwhelmed by the anxiety of separation. Simply because I have promised to return to them, my fully devoted cowherd girlfriends struggle to maintain their lives somehow or other. SB 10.46.3-6

[5] The words, “Dear gentle Uddhava, go to Vraja”, are meant for both his parents and you gopīs. One fourth of the first verse is dedicated to his parents. All four verses are dedicated to your anurāga.

[6] Uddhava made them understand these verses. He then explained something of the verses in the manner he explained to Nanda and Yaśodā, according to Kṛṣṇa’s words, such as the verse Uttara Campū 2.10.8 starting with jānāsi tvam:

You know that my heart is bound by bhakti, even in the form of enmity. Pūtanā is the evidence of this in the world. Disguising herself as a devoted mother, she acted like a mother. How could my mind not be attracted to Vraja permeated with prema of my mother?

After that, with afflicted heart he explained in detail the meaning of the verses.

There are some women in Vraja whose mind even I cannot understand. Their feelings of separation will not be destroyed by your words. If you reveal my talks with you, they will be able to understand those talks with difficulty (and will be freed of grief). ||3||

Though the gopīs have given up eating because of me, they remain alive for a long time. This is not a lie but true. Their life airs are dedicated to me, who possess an immortal body. Their minds are constantly thinking of me. This is the reason they remain alive. ||4||

The gopīs pass their time thinking of me as their dear lover, the abode of incomparable prema and as the Paramātmā. Previous to this, the gopīs gave up the cowherd men who externally appeared to be their husbands and who excelled in dharma and local customs, thinking them to be insignificant. ||5||

When the gopīs gave up dharma and local people because of attraction for me, they attained a lamentable condition. Previously, in their hearts they secretly gave up dharma and local customs, but now they have given up dharma and local people and are in a lamentable condition. ||6||

I cannot reject others who just on hearing about me give up their relatives and their individual duties though their worship may be faulty. How then can I give up the gopīs whose bodies are ever fresh with prema? ||7||

Though the gopīs see me constantly within their hearts as a sphūrti and by that are able to maintain and nourish their lives, if somehow or other talk of my being in Mathurā arises, then they become bewildered by remembering how distant I am. ||8||

Because the gopīs take a moment of separation from me to be a kalpa, they almost died at the beginning of the rāsa dance because of separation. I have repeatedly and emphatically stated that I will return so that their life airs do not leave their bodies. ||9||

As I swore to my mother and father previously, I instruct you, in order that you understand. I know that I am a cowherd. I have revealed my cowherd nature by saying, “My cowherd girls.” Therefore there is no difference between me and them. ||10||

[7-8] Hearing this, I then inquired, “Then why do you not go there eventually in a pleasant form?” Hearing this, Kṛṣṇa, with discolored face, revealed to me the truth, “Though it is possible to kill all the enemies, there is some shyness here and there which stops my attempts to go to Vraja. Not only have the gopīs offered themselves completely to me (but I have also given myself to them.) A person may say, “This is my brāhmaṇa wife.” (The word brāhmaṇī indicates a brāhmaṇa’s wife as well as any brāhmaṇa woman.) I, as the son of a cowherd say, “These are my cowherd girls, non-different from me.” (SB 10.46.6) (Similarly the word vallabhyaḥ will mean cowherd wives.) From this it is understood that they are my eternal consorts or wives. But by some remarkable māyā, they think that they are someone else’s wife. Māyā’s action has pervaded everything. Previously being absorbed in the prema of Vraja, producing this human-like pastime, Māyā’s actions allowed me to leave with difficulty.”

[9] He continued speaking, “As their anurāga developed, they became attracted to me and I became attracted to them. To increase that anurāga I previously performed visible actions such as showing my form and invisible actions such as playing my flute in remarkable ways in order to absorb them in the human-like pastimes and then sent messengers and met them. Therefore why would I hide from the gopīs who are dear to me? Intelligent Kārtikeya, because of his great knowḷedge, has revealed my attraction for you in praising tulasī in Skanda Purāṇa:

gavāṁ hitāya tulasī gopīnāṁ rati-hetave |

vṛndāvane tvaṁ vapitā sevitā viṣṇunā svayam |

gokulasya ca vṛddhy-arthaṁ kaṁsasya nidhanāya ca ||

O Tulasī! For the benefit of the cows, for the anurāga of the gopīs, for the prosperity of Gokula, and in order to kill Kaṁsa, Viṣṇu planted and served you in Vṛndāvana.”

[10-11] Again he spoke: “The private affairs between the gopīs and their apparent husbands became like horns on a rabbit, devoid of reality by the influence of māyā’s energy. Attachment to sons and in-laws’ sons gradually slackened. And then again, their attraction for me became noticed by others because it gradually increased unlimitedly. Because of shame caused by that, I left their attachment on the strength of another pretext––going to kill Kaṁsa. When I return to Vraja and they accept me again, there will again be shame. And if I do not accept them they will die. But still I will go there and somehow resolve this problem. Losing self-control because of longing, I described with a choked voice the suffering condition of my friends in Vraja to Vasudeva and Devakī and asked permission to go to Vraja but they did not give permission. If I ignored their order and went anyway, it would not at all be auspicious. Thinking in this way I became dejected. Moreover I wanted permission to bring all the fathers and mothers to Mathurā. That permission also was not granted and thus I did not call them for my sacred thread ceremony. Until I have solved the problem by the influence of time, using my intelligence, I desire in the meantime to send you, Uddhava, who are non-different from me, because of their suffering condition. Even if you can find a solution to all problems, you should give them this message I have written and read it personally since they will be blinded by their tears and will not be able to read it.”

[12] The first statement is as follows:

You are never actually separated from me, for I am the soul of all creation. (SB 10.47.29)

[13] Hearing just this much, the gopīs began to think, “He is teaching us brahma-jṣāna since he is identifying everything with himself. We don’t want to hear that.”

[14] Then they asked with indifference, “What else is there?” He again repeated what was written, following Kṛṣṇa’s instruction, in order that the gopīs would quickly understand the desired deep meaning.

[15] When he spoke, they again thought to themselves, “By repeating the statement he is pointing out the unique qualities of what was previously instructed (he is indicating that Kṛṣṇa appears as a sphūrti to us). By revealing everything clearly (coming back personally) there should be no separation but by revealing that he will stay in Mathurā there is separation. He is saying that if a sphūrti appears to us there will be union even if he is in Mathurā. What is the use of meaningless sounds of words, with the grinding wheel crushing what has already been crushed?”

[16] Again they asked and he spoke the same words. The gopīs began to wonder in astonishment, “Again and again he has written the same words. There must be successively deeper meanings. The third repetition denies that he will appear as a sphūrti and indicates he will come directly. Determining this meaning, we should then consider carefully. Just as a person who wears ornaments may not appear beautiful, one who does not understand may speak but those words are useless.” ||11||

[17] When they asked again he spoke something else:

yathā bhūtāni bhūteṣu khaṁ vāyv-agnir jalaṁ mahī |

tathāhaṁ ca manaḥ-prāṇa-bhūtendriya-guṇāśrayaḥ ||

Just as the elements of nature—ether, air, fire, water and earth—are present in every created thing, so I am present within everyone’s mind, life air and senses, and also within the physical elements and the modes of material nature. SB 10.47.29

[18] With this, the gopīs first considered internally, “He has given this instruction on brahma-jṣāna in which he is the material cause of everything and the shelter of everything, in order to relinquish our suffering. But it is not satisfying to us because of the following fact. Sanaka and his brothers completely realize the bliss of Brahman in their hearts. That Brahman is well known. But the wind carrying the pollen from the lotus feet of the lotus-eyed Lord conquered that Brahman.” ||12||

[19] They thought, “How can he who is the most generous in giving great mercy, give a sweet made of grain mixed with raw sugar while we enjoy the most exquisite sweet? Therefore we will again ask him.”

On asking, he said the same thing. Then they considered in their hearts, “Ah! Ah! He is teaching that he is personally present here through instructions about Brahman. He means, ‘You should take my sphūrti as my very form. Just as the elements, as the cause of their effects (visible objects), can be seen within the objects, I, the king of all black and beautiful objects, the cause of your minds and other functions, can be seen within you.’”

[20] They heard the statement a third time and after ascertaining the meaning, again asked. He then spoke the following:

ātmany evātmanātmānaṁ sṛje hanmy anupālaye |

ātma-māyānubhāvena bhūtendriya-guṇātmanā ||

By myself I create, sustain and withdraw myself within myself by the power of my personal energy, which comprises the material elements, the senses and the modes of nature. SB 10.47.30

[21] First the gopīs thought to themselves, “This seems to be related to the idea that he is God. It looks like he has made us understand he is God to disturb our hearts. So what if he is God? For some he is Brahman and for others he is God. Reflecting on this with intelligence, we consider that the most fortunate are those who play with him.” ||13||

[22-23] The second time they heard the statement, they came to this conclusion: “One should not see him as God but he has powers like God. Ātma-māyā is called his icchā-śakti. The wise say ātma-māyā is his will, and the ātmā follows its desire. The word bhūta in that verse means nitya-siddha objects, just as we say, “The Lord is the great entity (mahad-bhūtam).” Thus the meaning is ‘I create myself in myself along with nitya-siddha form, senses, qualities and objects by my free will, by the power of my most astonishing icchā-śakti.’ The phrase ‘I create myself’ means that he manifests himself to his devotees as if he were newly born. ‘I destroy myself’ means he disappears. He only appears to be destroyed. ‘I maintain myself’ means he protects all things that he has manifested.”

[24] The third time, they confirmed the meaning.

[25] Then Uddhava repeated another verse three times.

ātmā jṣāna-mayaḥ śuddho vyatirikto ’guṇānvayaḥ |

suṣupti-svapna-jāgradbhir māyā-vṛttibhir īyate ||

Being composed of pure consciousness, or knowledge, the soul is distinct from everything material and is uninvolved in the entanglements of the modes of nature. We can perceive the soul through the three functions of material nature known as wakefulness, sleep and deep sleep. SB 10.47.31

[26] When they first heard it they considered mentally, “He teaches us about his pure spiritual nature, uninfluenced by matter. Brahmā said, ‘We know Kṛṣṇa is the original soul of all living entities.’ (SB 10.14.55) But that is not proper to teach to us because we are engaged in worshiping him.”

[27] On hearing the verse the second time, they thought, “No, no. He praises himself in this verse by saying that he, the dark person, is also Paramātmā because he is always endowed with the deepest knowledge, is devoid of all faults, is superior to all and is endowed with all qualities.”

[28] With the third repetition they confirmed the meaning. Then Uddhava recited more verses three times:

yenendriyārthān dhyāyeta mṛṣā svapna-vad utthitaḥ |

tan nirundhyād indriyāṇi vinidraḥ pratyapadyata ||

etad-antaḥ samāmnāyo yogaḥ sāṅkhyaṁ manīṣiṇām |

tyāgas tapo damaḥ satyaṁ samudrāntā ivāpagāḥ ||

As a person just arisen from sleep may continue to meditate on a dream even though it is illusory, so by the agency of the mind one meditates on the sense objects, which the senses can then obtain. Therefore one should become fully alert and bring the mind under control. According to intelligent authorities, this is the ultimate conclusion of all the Vedas, as well as all practice of yoga, Sāṅkhya, renunciation, austerity, sense control and truthfulness, just as the sea is the ultimate destination of all rivers. SB 10.47.32-33

[29] On hearing the first time, they thought to themselves, “It looks like he is teaching us yoga, which attempts to stop the mental functions. Just as a person who has woken up meditates on false dream objects, one meditates by the mind on sense objects though knowing them to be false, and one attains the enjoyment of the senses by the mind. That mind, being without laziness (vinidraḥ), should be controlled.” Thinking for a moment that he was teaching them to control their minds, they heard a second time and concluded it was not so because of the following verse.

purāpi te te bahavo ’pi yoginas

tvad arpitehā nija-karma-labdhayā |

vibudhya bhaktyaiva kathopanītayā

prapedire 'ñjo 'cyuta te gatiṁ parām ||

O almighty Lord, in the past many yogīs in this world achieved the platform of devotional service by offering all their endeavors unto you and faithfully carrying out their prescribed duties. Through such devotional service, perfected by the processes of hearing and chanting about you, they came to understand you, O infallible one, and could easily surrender to you and achieve your supreme abode. SB 10.14.5

In that verse yoga is rejected. “He is speaking of meditation in order to stop the mind from thinking of separation.” Hearing the third time, they confirmed that meaning. Uddhava then repeated more verses three times with their consent.

yat tv ahaṁ bhavatīnāṁ vai dūre varte priyo dṛśām |

manasaḥ sannikarṣārthaṁ mad-anudhyāna-kāmyayā |

yathā dūra-care preṣṭhe mana āviśya vartate |

strīṇāṣ ca na tathā cetaḥ sannikṛṣṭe ’kṣi-gocare ||

But the actual reason why I, the beloved object of your sight, have stayed far away from you is that I wanted to intensify your meditation upon me and thus draw your minds closer to me. When her lover is far away, a woman thinks of him more than when he is present before her. SB 10.47.34-35

[30-31] Hearing the first time, they thought in their hearts: “‘The reason why I am far from your eyes though I love you is that I have a desire that you meditate on me continuously because of their being no possibility of seeing me. In this situation, your minds will become absorbed in me, just like a woman thinks of a man when he is far away. This also means that I become absorbed in you by being far away.’ Therefore he wants us to absorb our minds in him, rather than prevent our minds from doing so. Oh! Oh! Why does he teach this, for even a moment without his association seems like a hundred ages? (SB 10.19.16) Were our minds not already absorbed in him?”

[32-33] On hearing a second time they meditated on the meaning, “Ah! Ah! The real meaning is ‘Because of thinking of me with your minds I will become visible to you (sannikarṣaḥ).’ This is his intention. ‘I will directly appear in two ways. First, there is entrance into the mind by chiefly the eye as in the waking state. Direct sight by the eye is inferred chiefly by the mind as in the dream state. While in Vraja I appeared in the first way and now, being in Mathurā, I appear in the second way.’ When the mind produces the image it is like a dream but actually it is not a dream since it is my direct sphūrti. Now that sphūrti will appear appropriately. Since I feel embarrassed by the elders I have visibly gone far away and my association with you must be hidden. Thinking in this way I have done this. You should be satisfied with the sphūrti. This is the way in which one stops the mind from thinking of separation, as previously mentioned.’”

[34] When they had confirmed this on the third hearing, Uddhava spoke two more verses.

mayy āveśya manaḥ kṛṣṇe vimuktāśeṣa-vṛtti yat |

anusmarantyo māṁ nityam acirān mām upaiṣyatha ||

yā mayā krīḍatā rātryā vane ’smin vraja āsthitāḥ |

alabdha-rāsāḥ kalyāṇyo māpus mad-vīrya-cintayā ||

Because your minds are totally absorbed in me and free from all other engagement, you remember me always, and so you will very soon have me again in your presence. Although some gopīs had to remain in the cowherd village and so could not join the rāsa dance to sport with me at night in the forest, they were nonetheless fortunate. Indeed, they attained me by thinking of my potent pastimes. SB 10.47.36-37

[35] They thought to themselves, “Previously we derived the meaning of his words gradually. This time we have realized his real intention in the beginning. The word Kṛṣṇa, mentioned at the beginning, is modified by various elements to produce the final meaning.”

[36] They thought, “The meaning is this. Yat means because. The word Kṛṣṇa is used to indicate a specific person, and rejects any other name like Vāsudeva. Because you absorb your minds, free of unlimited thoughts of separation, in me, Kṛṣṇa, and constantly remember me, because you have desired pastimes and never give up those memories, you will quickly come to me, being near me. The second verse shows by example that he has sphūrtis. It is said that some gopīs were caring for their husbands and therefore did not come. The wise understand that this indicates gopīs other than you (who participated in the rāsa dance). Prevented by their husbands they remained in Vraja. In that forest, named Vṛndāvana, I can be seen even now, though this is confidential. Previously I, specifically Kṛṣṇa, played in that forest, visibly (prakaṭa). Those other gopīs did not attain the rāsa dance at that time. But they attained me, Kṛṣṇa, in an aprakaṭa form, with an ocean of pastimes, by thinking of my powerful pastimes.”

[37] They continued thinking, “The words me and my (mām, mayā, mayi, mad), used six times, indicating Kṛṣṇa, strongly emphasize the meaning. In saying, ‘O auspicious women!’ he indicates that they are nitya-siddhas, not performers of sādhana like those who gave up their bodies. It is not possible for you, the most skillful women with nitya-siddha forms, to make a show of giving up bodies when I appear as your only husband and you give up your māyā husbands and children.”

[38] Having said this, the reciter thought, “Though it is understood that bodies are despicable, strong attraction to them arises in this world, covering the criticism. Similarly, in Vraja, with understanding of Kṛṣṇa’s powers and qualities, natural attraction, causing conflict within, does not consider good or bad.” ||14||

[39-40] He then spoke aloud:

Understanding the meaning, which brought about meeting with Kṛṣṇa within, they were pleased with Uddhava, and began speaking sweetly to him. Filled with the highest bliss for two muhūrtas, they worshiped him. Ah! Ah! After that gradually they returned to external vision and began to lament:

We do not know whether we are happy or sad but we know about the death of Kaṁsa (which brought us separation). We ask you this. After being surrounded by the Yadus and killing the enemies why does he stay in Mathurā? ||15||

We know the pain of desire within, because we are similar to the Mathurā women. We ask if he has extinguished the pain of desire in the women of Mathurā. He did extinguish our pain by the glance from the edge of his softly smiling lotus eyes. Ah! That is even now present before us. ||16||

Affection of a woman for her lover is very sweet. If the affection is for Kṛṣṇa, that affection is superior to nectar. Therefore we speak to you. Please listen. Why does Kṛṣṇa, whose heart understands the best affection, not show affection to women at all times? ||17||

Let Kṛṣṇa enjoy with the city women. That joy exists in him. It is best that we have separated from him. However, one question unsettles our hearts. Tell us if he ever talks anything about us country girls? ||18||

Does he remember those nights, glorious with the lotus and moon in Vṛndāvana, with all his beloved women? Performing the rāsa dance with ankle bells jingling, singing his glories, he enjoyed on those nights with excitement. ||19||

Will he come to us, burning in the summer sun of separation, and show his sweet form, made of nectar like the moon? When will he shower us with his limbs like the full moon just as Indra showers water from clouds on the tender forest? ||20||

Here he rules the village and there he is contaminated by having the position of a king. Here he has cowherds for friends and there princes are his best friends. Here he stays with the gopīs controlled by Cupid and there, princesses desire to praise him. How will he come here? ||21||

Lakṣmī resides on his attractive chest. How can the city women or the village women reside there? You speak the truth. Give up desiring him. The prostitute Piṅgalā gave up her desires as insignificant. ||22||

Though we have wanted to give up our desire for him for a long time, desire binds us up even more tightly at every moment. He is like Varuṇa and that desire for him is like his noose. We do not know how it has happened. ||23||

We do not develop such strong desire on seeing his beauty, youth and pastimes. Hear another reason: when he jokes in private or vows his great love, desire forever sits in our hearts. ||24||

It is well known throughout the worlds that Lakṣmī, though not desired by him, does not leave him for a moment. He has made hundreds of promises to us by his own will. We do not know how to give him up. ||25||

Because of desire, Lakṣmī cannot give up his sweetness even for a moment, though she has been informed that he does not desire her. Though his lack of desire is strong, he also does not reject her. The situation is most difficult. ||26||

The sages say that Kṛṣṇa does not desire Lakṣmī. But the wise say that this rejection is only pretense. If he really does not desire her, then just as he gave up the women of Vraja, will he not give her up in a second? ||27||

Previously Kṛṣṇa along with Balarāma used to play his flute for the cows at the river, mountain and forest. All this makes us strongly desire to see him. And particularly his beautiful foot prints suddenly split our hearts. ||28||

Our intelligence has long been stolen by his attractive pastimes, movements, smile, glance and speech. Our intelligence now stays in Mathurā and cannot be retrieved. Please tell us by what means we can forget him even a little. ||29||

Oh beautiful lord, master of Lakṣmī! O beloved! O lord of Vraja, who relieves the dependent cowherd people of distress! We are not concerned with our own suffering. But please save the people of Vraja from an ocean of suffering, since you are called Govinda. ||30||

[41] Seeing the gopīs again thinking of separation from Kṛṣṇa, Uddhava again read the letter, as Kṛṣṇa had instructed. By the power of the words, independent like a great mantra, they became pacified. After this, thinking of Kṛṣṇa and Uddhava as non-different according to Kṛṣṇa’s instruction, free from suffering, they then worshiped Uddhava.

[42] He stayed for several months, going to them every day in the morning like a doctor, destroying disease to make them understand Kṛṣṇa’s instructions. Developing the highest bhakti which manifested in newer and newer ways, he then offered them respects by praising them as follows.

Surrounded by social restrictions arising from dharma, they attained Kṛṣṇa while rejecting those restrictions, thereby surpassing the meaning of karma-kāṇḍa and jṣāna-kāṇḍa. They have become the object of praise for people like me. Those who think they had loose conduct go to hell. ||31||

Those desiring liberation, those who are liberated, the devotees, and those desiring devotion all achieved the same goal when Kṛṣṇa appeared. But the gopīs have prema which astonishes me. Without knowing about that prema even Brahmā’s birth is useless. ||32||

What are the gopīs, with attractive qualities who play in Vṛndāvana in comparison to men and women who deviate from thinking of Kṛṣṇa? The cause of difference is the gopīs’ prema. If that is so, can he reject them, since he responds to ignorant people who worship him? ||33||

Lakṣmī cannot be compared to the gopīs because, desiring him, she performed austerities for a long time but did not attain him. But taking the gopīs as himself, he embraced them with his arms and did not desire to give them up. The women of Svarga are insignificant compared to them. ||34||

Having conquered all young women headed by Lakṣmī, the gopīs, the eternal consorts of Kṛṣṇa, are known as the greatest Lakṣmīs. If that is so, accusations that they had illicit connections must be false. That infamy was only an arrangement to reveal their unrestricted prema. ||35||

Those women who worship Kṛṣṇa while following the social norms dictated by dharma follow an easy path. Their fame is desirable. But let me always be born at the feet of the gopīs who are worshiped by devotees of Kṛṣṇa and who gave up everything for worshiping Kṛṣṇa. ||36||

It is well known that those feet were worshiped for a long time by Brahmā, Śiva, Indra and Lakṣmī, as well as Sanaka and other yogīs with a desire to attain those feet. But the gopīs served his feet by offering their breasts to his feet to relieve him of fatigue while wandering in the forest, but fearing his feet were too soft, they touched them only slightly. ||37||

What to speak of the gopīs who never rejected giving pleasure to Kṛṣṇa joyfully, I bow down to the foot dust of all those related to the gopīs, whose songs concerning Kṛṣṇa, glorified in the whole universe, purify the three worlds along with its leaders. ||38||

[43] Then Madhukaṇṭha concluded:

When Kṛṣṇa continually praises the gopīs I think he is referring to the gopīs in general, but in his heart he is referring to Rādhā. She took the bee as Kṛṣṇa’s messenger, spoke to it using attractive words filled with a treasure of mahābhāva which unsteadies the heart, and gave up hesitation in speaking to Uddhava, who became most astonished. ||39||

Uddhava, who is considered equal to Kṛṣṇa, bowed to the gopīs’ foot dust, saying that Lakṣmī could not compare to them. I offer respects to Rādhā, whose body is nectar for her lover, who is accompanied by the cakora bird Kṛṣṇa, and who is worshiped by all. ||40||

[44] He then made a request:

O goddess! O wave of mercy! Best of Lakṣmīs! Please forgive me for revealing your bewilderment caused by madness of prema while Kṛṣṇa is listening. Poets generally have hard, proud minds. Therefore they cannot understand shyness and suffering of others. They speak to reveal their cleverness. ||41||

O Rādhikā! I have seen that you and Kṛṣṇa have reached a state of madness with every statement in my description. But by seeing each other, from taking the best magic medicine, you have recovered and have gained self-control. ||42||

[45] Concluding in this way and satisfying Rādhā, Kṛṣṇa, Lalitā and their friends, the two went to their rooms, satisfied with gaining their mercy. Rādhā and Mādhava, at a suitable time, taking permission from all, went to their chamber of love and entered in the ocean of bliss.

[46] Snigdhakaṇṭha then spoke at the morning session in Nanda’s assembly with Kṛṣṇa present:

[47] In this way Uddhava passed several months in Vraja.

What Kṛṣṇa spoke to Uddhava in Mathurā, Uddhava spoke to the gopīs in Vraja.

Kṛṣṇa became personally present constantly in Vraja as part of his pastimes and produced happiness during those months within Uddhava and the gopīs. ||43||

Uddhava, seeing the symptoms of Kṛṣṇa’s sphūrti in the people of Vraja, informed them that this was actually Kṛṣṇa. When they understood and believed this, he thought of leaving, and meeting with them, politely asked for permission. ||44||

[48] The reciter then began describing topics meant for the night assembly of Rādhā, but spoke them in the daytime assembly to complete the composition.

[49] Snigdhakaṇṭha spoke:

Filled with Kṛṣṇa prema, Uddhava asked and received permission to leave. Śukadeva describes this:

atha gopīr anujṣāpya yaśodāṁ nandam eva ca |

gopān āmantrya dāśārho yāsyānn āruruhe ratham ||

Uddhava, the descendant of Daśārha, then took permission to leave from the gopīs and from mother Yaśodā and Nanda Mahārāja. He bade farewell to all the cowherd men and, about to depart, mounted his chariot. SB 10.47.64

Uddhava requested with utmost politeness and the gopīs responded with transformations such as fainting. Remembering this, my life airs become immediately pulverized. Therefore this scene cannot be fully described. ||45||

[50] I will reveal Rādhā’s polite words as an indication.

“O Uddhava! I do not speak so boldly about Kṛṣṇa as you do. I am as hard as a thunderbolt and he is soft as butter. O intelligent Uddhava! Finally teach us how to give up affection for him, like an old piece of cloth gradually falling to pieces.” ||46-47||

[51] Saying this and lamenting uncontrollably she handed Uddhava a sealed letter expressing her words, though her hands were helpless:

“Do not abandon the women of Vraja out of fear of defamation. The moon does not reject the spots (like a rabbit in shape) which take shelter of it.” ||48||

[52] What more should be said about separation which is beyond the intelligence?

[53] Then he began the daytime recitation:

Before Uddhava mounted the chariot, Nanda and the cowherd men brought and offered butter, milk, cheese and various other gifts. They then thought, “In order to destroy this suffering caused by separation from Kṛṣṇa, full of friendliness, Uddhava, instructing us about Kṛṣṇa as the Lord, told us many things while being neutral. Accepting that Kṛṣṇa is the Lord, we should answer with our opinion.”

[54] Considering this, with tears in their eyes they spoke:

If Kṛṣṇa were the Lord, our senses will still be completely dedicated to him. We will not be indifferent to him in any circumstance. ||49||

May we always have attraction to the Lord in the form of Kṛṣṇa, while we wander in this world by the force of karma, under the desire of the Lord. ||50||

O Uddhava! Guruship is given to others by instruction. But guruship is nitya-siddha in your guru. What more can be taught to you (who have all knowledge)? ||51||

Covering their faces with their cloth they cried. Recovering, they followed Uddhava for a long way, embraced him, and, gathering together, eventually returned to Vraja.

[55] Desiring news from Vraja, Kṛṣṇa counted the days, fortnights and months. To fulfill his desires and get a view of Vraja he climbed the watchtower and looked at the road. Suddenly he saw Uddhava approaching. He was overcome with anticipation. Following Uddhava for some distance, Kṛṣṇa, taking him as the personification of Gokula, embraced him and brought him to a private place. First he saw Uddhava’s pleased face and then he asked only about his health. After having him recover from the journey, he inquired from him.

Kṛṣṇa asked with compassion, about the elders, his father, his friends, followers, and the cows both together and individually. He did not ask about his mother because tears rose and choked his throat. ||52||

[56] Quickly Uddhava revealed all the auspicious news and removed Kṛṣṇa’s unsteadiness. Starting with the first day’s news he first narrated in brief what would be told for many days to come. At last he said this:

I solved half their problem by your influence. The other half will be resolved by your going there. ||53||

We concluded previously that bhakti to you is excellent to the extent that it is devoid of karma or jṣāna. But I have seen that the excellent prema of the Vraja residents, with sentiments such as accepting you as their son, illuminates all your other devotees. ||54||

[57] Having spoken this far, thinking of what should be spoken in the evening, the reciter spoke to himself, “It is not surprising that the sentiment of thinking of you as their son surpasses all other devotees, but the gopīs’ thoughts of you as their illicit lover is superior even to that. From what I have seen, I have narrated here the words of Rādhā among all your dear gopīs. Hearing those words, the gopīs first believe them, then disregard them and finally faint. Your agitation stops me from speaking. I have such a cruel mind.” ||55-56||

[58] He then spoke aloud, “After conversing on many subjects, the best of devotees, Uddhava, then showed the gifts expressing prema that the residents of Vraja had sent*.* His mother sent food, his father sent ornaments, his friends sent forest fruit, some women sent pearl necklaces and others sent many other gifts. By the type of offering, Kṛṣṇa identified the donor. But afraid of tears, he inspected the articles from afar.” ||57||

[59] Thinking in his mind that he would replace the words “some women” with his “beloveds” in the evening talk, the reciter continued:

Kṛṣṇa gave the articles to Vasudeva and Ugrasena that Nanda had sent for them. |58||

[60] Kṛṣṇa arranged a meeting between Uddhava, Balarāma and Rohiṇī. This was similar to the meeting between Uddhava and Kṛṣṇa.

[61] When Rohiṇī and Balarāma saw with unsteady minds all the excellent articles sent by Nanda and Yaśodā, their hearts melted because of attraction. What happened after that need not be described.

[62] Snigdhakaṇṭha then concluded, “O Nanda! That Kṛṣṇa who sent Uddhava with great agitation to pacify the people of Vraja and who made them partially recover, and appeared as sphūrti to take your association, is now present personally on your lap. Pleasing his mother and all others, he gives us bliss.” ||59||

[63] Giving all people bliss, worshiped by the other bards, the two reciters went to their rooms. In the evening, at the assembly of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa they spoke in depth about the topics spoken previously in brief.

[64] He then concluded the evening recitation, “O Rādhā! Kṛṣṇa did not mention your name to Uddhava, fearing complete bewilderment. Here in Goloka because of the absence of separation causing bewilderment, will you, full of joy, give bewilderment to his heart?”||60||

[65] The pastimes of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, gold and sapphire blue in color, who are controlled by the rapture of unlimited rasa, then shone with brilliance.

O Kṛṣṇa! O Caitanya! O Rūpa and Sanātana! O Gopāla! O Raghunātha! O Vallabha who has attained Vraja! Please protect me!